The Depth of a Soul..

Pieces of me In Highschool I used to fantasize all the time That by this age, I'd be this far. That I would have accomplished everything I wanted  A beautiful relationship With a beautiful family  The way I was raised  I was instilled with this simplistic Hope & Ideal That with the fire of my heart's desires  I can and would accomplish anything That Life and Love are intertwined  You accomplish one then you'll have the other Call this boy-ish fantasy what you will But the truth is? I was too prideful to attain those boy-ish fantasies  Too Prideful to love myself the way I needed to be loved And in return be able to give myself to someone.  God was I prideful.  I don't really know what it was But I was obsessed with Love Yet had no clue how to get it To find it, and to function with it.  I never had a hard time attracting someone But what I did isn't something you can call dating  I'd never had a functional relationship Up until I was married Imagine how My m

  Oh how i love it and i hate it at the same time Running from the distance Selling myself for less May I spare the mercy from the mercy deep within? Please don't leave me in the end There's a light from within Yet I resist it's influence I hate the idea that I can feel again From the daylight, Oh, how I'm running from the daylight. Somehow you know at the same time That you and I are running from the same light Subconsciously aware of  Knowing it's all there. Yet somehow running away from  What we both can share. Our pride is holding us hostage. From the way we're been living The constant lies we live in All keeping us from the daylight we deserve. We draw poison from the same vine Running from the daylight Lovin' the thoughts of how it could be. From on my knee's  Though standing at the same time. Help me stand in the presence of  The Light we share, and that thought of being happy again.  How dare I dream of such an idea! We drew poison from the same

Again and again everywhere everyday the art of scraping through  That caress of someone new  The way The art of it  Something new? Someone new?  It's the game played Exhausting the person played Walking again  with another stranger Falling in love again With someone new?   Again and again Again to when? The distance from now to forever? Start's with a decision for another day with that person  A decision I thought we made?  Why then Are we right back to this.. again?  Again and again Again to when?  So here we are  Again? The same pattern  How to you break it? Without breaking it?  Every way I look Either direction pointed  Begins with a decision to say yes Yes today, tomorrow, and more days after Again and again A round pattern of grey With highlights of color I'm ready for the color of everyday With surety  and comfort with each step forward Carrying myself  While moving together  Holding you up has become a lifestyle when I thought it was a hobby I can do it forever  but