The Depth of a Soul..

  Remember when I sang this song to you? Around a piano, you and me, when you said you loved me? I looked at you, smiled and said... I knew better then, as I know better now. I'm not good for you. You're too whole, Too you...  I will only hurt you, Only damage the whole.. I can't love again. The pain is too real, I'm too far gone.. "A breath away, blinks away, you have what's left of me. I don't think it's enough, but I can try..." Why do I feel it's better to let go? To let me be, Too let it be.. Things are better when I'm alone, easier.. It's safer this way, safer away, It's quiet here. Don't you know enough? Know enough.. I'll only hurt you, if you let me. With a smile you didn't let it go, Let me go. You said "It's too late for that now, I'm yours and you're mine.. That life is too short to let go what we have, What we can be. I won't give up on you, as you never gave up on me." I can't

Close your eyes and feel. Feel the breeze, Feel the energy all around. Know that you are still alive, Still can breathe.  Under the stars from up above,  The lights so dim, yet so bright. The majesty of the world around, It's amazing how something so grand, can affect things so small. So close your eyes, and breathe. Remember the time, not so long ago when. When you couldn't quite feel, Couldn't quite move, Could barely breathe. Never again will you take for granted, Never forget, That you are still alive, and that no matter how many of life's challenges come your way, You can still breathe when so many others can't. Live when it came so close. Believe when you came so close to stopping.. So close your eyes and believe, Become a believer again. A believer that you deserve better things, a better life, a better world to live, a better place to thrive. That life is only limited to your perception, so become limitless, become more, and believe the most. Search your sou

So I told you a lie the other night, It was one I understand why, yet not proud of it. I'll do anything to take my mind away from my heart, and my heart to distract from what it's feeling. Though nothing's been set or said, nor have any decisions been made, but I feel us fading away, and the ghost of us, of you, terrifies me for what I'd lose. Though the reason is greater than you or I, and I'm praying to him above, that this is only for a season, I'm struggling with the feelings.. Feeling like I have to pull back, that I have to protect myself, That emotionally I'm too vulnerable, Too aware, Too close, Just another minute please... Why is this so hard? I don't know what to do, Or how to be.. I said that I'm pulling back to protect myself, I'm feigning strength when I'm a mess, Pretending to be fine, fine on my own, fine being okay. I'm not...   Yet the thought of not having you, makes life seem a lot duller, Colors seems off, Tastes seem

An open hand, in a time of need. I wont let you drown, even when you try. We have it in us to be great. The meaning of an epic journey, The heart of a thousand words, The heart of a grand symphony. No, I wont let you drown. It's been one hell of go huh? Pain, heartbreak, earthly ailments, loss with many of tears. Just know: You're not a lone here, You have people around you. And if you happen to be alone, There's people all over the world who's felt what you are now, that makes you a legion. I wont sit around an let you drown. Life is to short, Remember you last favorite memory, Imagine it, relieve it. Now picture this: Something 1000x's the joy, a million times happiness.  That is what you have yet to experience. When you feel like you're drowning, Take a walk. Run for no reason, stop and catch your breath. Find your happy place, a place no one can infiltrate. Find it, hold it bask in it's peace. No, I wont let you drown, I wont let you keep yourself down.

A walk in the cold, The walk to your door. A dream, a moment. A cold winters day, The leaves are gone, The grass, already hibernating till next year. The day is cloudy and cold, wet and dreary. Why are we alone? Why are you alone? It's been a hard year, a time where being alone hurts when it rarely did. Walking outside, there's a bitter wind. People walk on by, heads down, mask on. God forbid you say hello.. Someday, Somewhere.. Nobody else see's, the silent pain, your silent pain. Why am I still out here? Alone and cold, Broken, yet mended? The day's turn into weeks, The first snow's hit. Why am I still here? Cold and alone? Hey baby, where were you back there? You said this was meant to be. You said you've found your new home. Why are you alone? Why are we alone? Walking alone, one never knows what is passed the surface, First glances don't always answer the answers, or question the questions.. Wait.. Most of the time I'm just naked and afraid inside,

I stop. I see. The pain all around, The pain in the air. So many reasons to, So many ways to, give up. People hurt, with hope lost. The type of hurt few people understand. The world we live in, The life forced on us, suffocation, barely living, barely breathing. Destruction all around us, People are hungry, people are dying. The lack of control, Finding anyway to express themselves, searching, yearning, for equality, in essence... love. It's hard for me to, see this, and have zero control of, any of it. A cry of help, Please, give one. Life is worth living, Please, stop and see it. We are by products of, Society, those we grew up with, our parents, the community around us.. Right now, Today is, One of the worst on record, for so many people, in many ways. It's not lost upon us, please, reach out, let someone help. Be the weed growing between the cracks in concrete. Beautiful. Because it's not supposed to be there. The

Striped. Head to toe, Face to mirror, Mirror to face. Vulnerable. The mind, my mind trembles. Can it be? Can I be? Buried. Head to toe, Mind to heart... All I want, What do I want? Love? What does that even mean? So I close my eyes and dream. My mind opens up, TO memories passed, Fleeting thoughts found. All I want. All I want, That hope to have. To feel that again, That buzz, That high, That hope. Some day. All I want. That sincerity, That freshness, The smile, That smile, . The look, That look. The one that says it all, The very meaning, hidden, yet not hidden. I haven't thought it, Or believed it. Could it be? Could it happen? Someday. In the heart of hearts. I envision, the day, that day. When I wake, turn my head, and just smile. It was real, It is   real. You were there all along, buried into my soul, Into my heart. All I want. Is to feel whole again, that way. Without any doubts, without any shame, judgmen

The day it is, The time it was, The plans of tomorrow, The plans of yesterday. The New Beginnings, The Rainbows after the storms, The light rains before the Tornado. There is always a calm before the tempests, A breeze after the whirlwinds. Though today may be a living hell, Tomorrow just may be the living salvation you've been fighting for. Every end has a middle, Every middle had a beginning. One life ends, for the next one to begin. Your life, your story, Has only just begun. There are few definites, But definitely, definite, You will get through this. And this time, You will ignite. Ignite like theres no tomorrow, Ignite for the life you want, for the loves you have, for the people who need you, want you. Ignite for the whole world to see, Burn the fucking place down if you have to. Do this. Do you. Be you. Live to Love, Love to Live. Own today, like it's your last. Love like you've never known the word. Trust. The hardest

Happiness. Sadness. To what end? From that end.. The older I become, The more I see. That one stems from the other, While the other is the meaning of the later. An understanding of loss, To new beginnings yet defined. It's so easy to forget, That both are derived from your actions, And in your control. Whether hardships or joys, A positive, or a negative. It's up to you. You can choose your narrative, The narratives don't control you. If you don't like what you see, Change it. Walk the hard road, Make the tough choice. It's up to you, No one chooses for you. Even if, you have made some awful decisions, Caused hurt, or pain. You can make the change. You can rewrite, The how you choose to move forward. Change the image that is looking back at you, No matter the cost. Even if you don't feel like you deserve it. Do it. Find that reason, Make the changes, Fight the fight, Walk the walk. Learn your blind spots, Learn the w

Where to begin, Where to start.. Not sure how one can juggle.. The calling of being wife, With Myself, Brandon, Jordan, and Leah To the newest additions of our lovely family: Jasmin and Cameron All needing our weekly, to daily Therapy sessions. To her siblings: Trina, Mathew, Aaron, Michael, Jason, Josh, Susie, Even her Parents, Just pick up the phone and Rebecca is there for you. Oh it's not done from there, She's a women of God, and the fulfiller of Church callings. Sure let's add going to school full-time, With a Merger at work, working 60+ hours a week. Somehow, and in some way God only knows, Our wonder women of a mother is always there for you. She may say that she doesn't have all the means in the world to fulfill all she want's too do, when in reality it's just a fact that one couldn't cram more into one's day than Rebecca Leslie Harris- Roberts does. No my mom does it all. Personally, I couldn't me more grateful than

Today was great, yesterday was fine. Wait, what am I saying, the day's are always great. Grey as they seem to be, except for those occasions, When that little light come to the door, and the color returns. You see? I'm alive.. I don't have to look over my shoulder anymore, I have my own voice, My own perspective, my own say. I don't feel the victim anymore, Just that I went through something, Something black, Something dark. Something harsh, Something when pain became a numbness, Where numbness became the norm, and all else paled by comparison. I'm healthy, as a healthy one without Ms Corona, can be. Mentally I feel fine, yeah.. just fine. I have some bad days, though mostly good days. Good meaning, My brain isn't on some whacked out fuck fest. Where the walls feel like they're collapsing on me, and I am suffocating. No, those day's are few and far between now, so that's the good I'm referring to. I still bel

A journey so far, A journey to you. A trip away, away from it all. It started this way, An easy way to forget, An easy way to let go.. The trip. From coast to coast we went, From the Sunny Side to the Big Apple, A trip away, away, away to a new plane.  A time to let go, A time to know, That you only live, but once.. but once. A journey away, A journey to discover.. Little did you know, oh how little you knew. That she would be, Oh how she would be... Away, yet not far. This journey began, and she, you found. And if you get carried away, let the music carry you through, The pain, that pain.. So tell the ones you love, That you love them, and let that music play. The journey away, oh that journey to discover, Oh you discovered.. That part of you, That part, that is apart of her. That part, that you, didn't know you had... Oh how little did you know, How little you knew... So let that music

Color me Shady as there's no approximation to the color of life. You choose where you go, and what you want. So let me help to start your day with this little Rhyme, and always remember that the only true limitations of life, start and end in your mind... Now take a tad of joy, a bit of love, with a pinch of happiness and let it be the "blend" you start your day with. Sometimes you may need the reminder that indeed You are a bright spot on a sunny day, The cool breeze on a warm summers day, The best part of an already great day. It's not easy being you, but being you is what you do best. So when you fall, remember this: No climb is too steep, No trial is so great, No pain too heavy, that you can pick yourself back up and try again. So if you feel alone... Remember this: You're never truly alone, as there's others that feel as you do, Others have fallen as you have, and as lost as you may be. Reach out, Try, take that step for

A head full of doubt, A darkness full of light, Seeing a little, when seeing nothing. Heaven and hell, the contrast between, the comparisons of... How can this feel so great, yet be so wrong. Lost in the clarity, remembering to forget.. Life doesn't make sense, and myself? Well I'm a walking contradiction, equated my none. I once thought I could handle anything, now I know I can break.. How one so strong, became so weak, so brittle, to fall, to break... to rise again, to stand supreme, to become, a better version of you. I once thought I knew so much, yet how little I knew. A work in progress, or to progress towards nothing? A lost way, became a discovered passion. The silver lining in all, A glass half empty to become full. Take little, Make it more. As much as life want's you to quit, Never give up, never give in, or at least make it worth it. Let the experience of it all mean something, Try something new, Break the ru