The Depth of a Soul..

"Nobody will surprise me unless you do." I can't say what I feel, Or Be the way I want to be.. What if either way is right? He was was right -  When things get hard, I find a safe place and I run, Push to hard and Or hide. Then i protect myself, Close up, And shut off to others. I'm strong, But scared. I've been hurt so many times... By those I've cared about the most. I'm not good at this. I don't know how to act..  Have I been anything less than Genuine? No. Do I not know how to say what I am feeling? Yes... Selfish - who isn't? Yes... Did I mean to sound or be,  The way I'm portraying myself? No... I'm sorry - I didn't want you to be pushed into a corner.. Sorry for making things more complicated.. I'm not good at this. Am I scarred?  Yes. Do I wish I was different? In this case... Yes. Do I want to push you away? No. Am I doing it Subconsciously? Yes... Can I be pushy? It's one of my least favorite qualities.. Yes... Am I In

Life moves on.. We can't fully control when we leave this world. Nor are we entirely the masters of our own ships. Outside of our best efforts, Is a divine hand guiding us. Moving us along... God knows where we're headed, Amid the paths we are to cross. It's in his hands, not always ours.. I'm a firm believer that we are the master of our own destinies.. We steer the ships of life, But even after we do our part in all things, we can't fully control anything... God knows our beggining from the end. The end from the beggining. In the grand scheme of things - It's up to us to be our best selves.. Strive to hit our potentials'. And to be happy. for the next life is a paradise compared to here. A place we should all want to go when it's our time. I'm so happy to know, That God won't leave us alone in this walk we call life. Because I need his help.. Whether we lose a loved one, Or draw close to a hell, We aren't alone. In sadness or misery. We wil

After all that has been said, And all that has been done. You think to yourself, You really don't know, All you thought you once did... I think to myself, Just maybe, you can be the one that saves me. Realizing the thoughts, Realizing the feelings held, Realizing that you aren't that great with words.. That there's so much to be said... Yet, nothing needs to be sad. Just how we just know.. But in all honesty, I have no idea where to begin. I seem to have so many words.. Funny thing is, I'm just myself, And a lot of the time I don't really know.. You're not used to this. You have no idea where to begin.. All we know is that we haven't been this happy in a long time.. Can it be real? Many times I go to bed and just pray God knows what He's doing. Because everyday is a new day. Exciting yet so scary... I love the feeling, That you know me, That I can be comfortable around you. That I don't have to worry about judgment, Nor thinking to far ahead, Because

"Once I thought without a doubt, I had it all figured out... I took to long to see that I was wrong to believe in me only." Once I thought I had things set, the plan laid, out was it. I knew where I was to go. Once I thought, things would happen this way, not that way. Then you came into my life, shook it all up, and changed it all. You put a never ending smile on my face.. Changed the way I thought life would be. Changed what I thought about things I dare not mention... Once I thought the world was, well my world, was going to go in a certain direction, that things would be this way... A book, I thought was already written.. I had pieces of the puzzle, clues and ideas, of this person, I Compared the past with reality, looked at needs in comparison to wants. I kinda thought I would have to settle. That there is no way anyone could be, that person I sought after. Then you came into my life, you showed me, and that I do deserved more. That everything I wanted, all of those piec

One of life's consistent truths, Is that you can mess up as many times as you want to. You can consistently chose to fail - nobody will stop you. If you'd rather quite than move forward, You're the regulator of how your life with progress. You decide your own fate. You chose. I know this, As I've done it. I've fallen flat on my face more times than I care to admit. There have been time when I just didn't care anymore. Yet, Through it all, It was still in the hands of my savior. Even with my many mistakes, And My consistent blunderings. He still had my back. And at the end of the day, I just needed to let go. And start with the one good choice. That would lead to many others. It's neat - The concept of unconditional love. Can anyone match it? Or even comprehend a love without any bounds or limits? That's the love of our savior. I see how it's made manifested in my own life. I see it with the little angels he sends into my life. And the opportunities t

How do you measure a year? The days as they move by, And those nights as they drag on... How does one depict if their last year of life was worth anything? Was it fulfilled? Was it worth every minute of everyday? The question that rings true in my mind - Have I wasted the time God gave me to breath? Am I making the right decisions? How do you measure a year exactly? 525600 minutes is the time exactly. What guide is there? I'll first take the advice of this song. Love. Relationships built. Moments spent with those you cherish most. Experiences, trials waded through, friendships mended... How many times have you told someone that you love them? Are you happy? Be happy - the year, your life, is to short not to be. Measure life by who you are, And how you feel at the end of each day. You don't have to be this God-like apparatus type of a person, But you do have to measure up to who you believe you should be. Remember that Through the eyes of our creator, We are nothing but remarkab