The Depth of a Soul..

I don't normally write about this topic, for it scares me, and I don't like the idea of vulnerability... Here's a toast to those in love. A story rarely spoken by my lips, Is a story based around love, It's rare and far between. But here's to those who've found it, Although things tense up, and maybe can't square away all the time, yall have found the secret. To that I offer my glass. The secret is that look in yalls eyes. The unconquerable fire burning through the eyes, made from yalls souls buried deep within yalls hearts. Here's a toast to those who are willing to take that chance, Not knowing what the future holds and Not even caring. Something calculated measures can't calculate, a chance that couldn't be be greater. but you two, you two have each other. Tis is all that matters. Never stop dancing, never forget that fire, find ways to keep it alive and ever burning. Stay true to each other, here's to you two, the bride and the groom. My

Could you take the long way, just to walk through times long past? Would you take a midnight drive, to just let your memories guide the wheel? Would you stop, late at night, to just look up at the stars and tear up at the vastness of it all? Does the moon bask you under its glittering glow? Do you stop and wonder why things are the way they are? Do you sparkle at night? Can you accept the bite of a cold winters night? Can you invent your own endings? Does music touch your soul? Do you walk in the lyrics then swim through its melodies? Do you see things beyond the surface? Do you let the warmth of a summer breeze sweep you away to a place where your dreams lie? Can you stand beside the ocean and let yourself get carried away in its currents? Do you feel small? Does the salt and dampness of the air invigorate you? Does the thoughts of endless possibilities stand your hair up? Can you invent a place where only you can go? Can you look at a picture and try to look at it as the artist does

A single candle in the darkness, a piece of hope shining. A single light to show, that you're still there. The darkness might conquer, but it could never extinguish hope. And though one candle, or many, might flicker and die, new candles will be lit from the old. Thus Hope's flame always burns, lighting the darkness until the coming of the day. When the night comes, and darkness is all around. Light a candle, and remember that you're not alone. Light a spec that will stand out, as the light crumbles away. remember what you're doing here, and why you came. That flame will always burn, as long as you let it...

I think this song is very appropriate for all that you're going through, you are still loved by many, and those still by your side are there for good. you're never alone through this. :-) Please listen to it with the lyrics, it came as I was thinking through things. Thank you dear one, for being strong. You're a great example, and you will make it. Even as the storms may threaten to sink us, light up, and feel the love around you. God loves you as I do and the many around you. Smile, with that smile and carry on. "I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere Away from here Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear Louder louder And we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand Why you can't raise your voice t

It's one thing to stay stuck and unmoving, Lost in unforgiving habits. Staying on the path of loneliness and despair. But the beauty of life comes from never stopping. Keep the engine on, Stay focused move forward, Don't look back except to remember the lessons learned. Keep the car running, don't stop to long, make a new life, be strong, grow up, love again, hope again. Remember that you're not alone. Keep the car running my friend. take your time, but keep it running. From one location to another, a new city to a new home. Make your life, and mark it with the greatest and with only the purest beauties. Keep the car running, and stay out of your head. What happens in front of you, is it, don't invent things. Love more and love a new. Keep the car running. Keep it true.

"take a bow cos you played your heart out and take your time with working the rest out" "going back my friend there's not much there left, Ill push you on, use your stride slow and pick it up over time.." "try & stay out of your head..." "I have seen you invent the damnedest things there." --Greg Laswell It's so nice to be at peace, happy with just you and yourself. A light, you know can only come from above. Thank you dear friend, you've been an angel. "oh so what maybe she could not really ever see you through her self what does that change about you or her, try and stay out of your head i have seen you invent the damnedest things there"

They're playing our song They're playing our song Can you see the lights? Can you hear the hum? Of our song I hope they get it right I hope we dance tonight Before we, get it wrong And the seasons Will change us new Be the best I've known and you know me I could not be stuck on you If it were true I was sleeping My eyes were dark Til you woke me And told me that opening is just the start it was Now I see you, til kingdom come You're the one I want To see me for all the stupid shit I've done (Chorus) Soil and six feet under Killed just like we were Before you knew you'd know me And you know me Blooming up from the ground 3 Rounds and a sound Like whispering you know me And you know me So this was our song This was our song I still see the lights I can see them And the criss cross Of what is true, won't get to us Cause you know me I could not give up on you And the fog of what is right Won't cover us cause you know me I could not give up a fight

Time has a way of telling, What words just can't say. Experiences leave their marks. Words may seem empty and tasteless at times... Sometimes you just can't erase pain. But after it all, Thank you. A best friend I found. And a best friend I hope is still there. Some days are harder than others, A week has seemed to be a month, Daily I regret the last words said. Days I think... Night's I know. I miss you, the friendship, the nothingness of aimless conversations. The times you confided in me, the times you corrected me; as you knew that I would always be there and vice versa. I can't help but tear up to this loss. But none-the-less, I am still grateful for the time spent. Even though it/we were caustic towards one another at times, this was far to short lived. space has helped things to come into retrospect. I am grateful for it all, the pain, the tears, the joys, the memories shared, The books, the T.V. shows, the music, our laughter, Diesel, (I mean c'mon. lol) but

Go back home, find your way back home... only music can touch you in such way... Every step, a victory it was. I was cheating death. Just in time I woke. My memories start to wander off Come to me the remembrance of My way back home. --Band of Horses I find myself returning to the roots of who I am. For so long I have been bitter and angry. I feel like I am waking up from a long dark and dreary sleep. I have been dark for months now. I have been so selfish and dreary. I did this to myself... How could I? It's taken time and the remembrances of near death experiences to remind me that I am more. My head is returning, Light is catching up to me. Thank you, it's been to long... "There's often times that it comes out wrong But luckily I, I got a mind to know. On my way back home." --Band of Horses

"we come into people's lives when they have experienced something profound - and sad. And they've lost somebody, you know? And um, the circumstances, they're always different. But that's the same. And we help. In some small way we, um, we help." -Rose Lorkowski Interesting how just a little bit of hope, can go so far. Life opens up in front you, Your mind starts to empty out. You've stopped crying now at night. Some days are better than others, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You see the past, know how it hurt. Memories are that of recent pains, pains that didn't scar you, but helped you to grow. New friends arise, and you realize that you are working through it all. Memories will last a life time, even when you had thought it would have been more. I'm doing good. It's not easy, but I feel good...

"I had a lengthy discussion about The Power of Myth With a post-modern author who didn't exist In this fictitious world all reality twists I was a hopeless romantic now I'm just turning tricks Just like that Soul Singer in the session band Shredded confetti beneath a microphone stand Saw the Conflict of Interest slipping cash in the hand Of the Soul Singer in the session band" "Headlights or Taillights it's a flip of a coin I have been coming and going since the day I was born And I followed the breadcrumbs but I never got home I grew old in an instant now I am all on my own." I may have been criticized many times for what people see me as, I'm through with apologizing. I've made enough mistakes to last a life time, and I'm not perfect. I get it, I don't care what people think, I care about the image I see when looking into a mirror. Can I live with myself? that's the new question I ask myself, not if I am appealing the right people o

I'm happy. I still know that deep down inside I have it in me. I may be partially broken, I may be lost at times, Words escape my mind, I may drown myself at time purposely, Many things may be wrong with me. But I still have that smile, I still have that hope. I may pretend many days. You can't control me. With my faults in mind, I will rise from the ashes. With my faults in mind, I will make a new life. Pick up those pieces of myself that are still around, Then be more. Help groups, Help Books, Therapists, Name it... This is me now. I'm forward thinking, With my faults in mind, You still cant control me. I may fall those thousand's of times, but I still know how to walk. With my faults in mind, I am more alive now than ever, for I know now that I am not perfect. I see it. With my faults in mind, I've learned how to feel. Learned that addictions have controlled me. with my faults in mind, I know: that at the end of the day... You still can't control me. Better D

In a flash, light can be seen through the clouds. Dark clouds that once jaded and darkened you path, are now clear. Happiness comes from within, light shines from the heart through the eyes. The joy's of friendships, Loves, and lessons learned. Make a change in your life. Troubles and worries, although still present, are clearer now. You can see again. You, only you, know how to do this. Let life run it's course, Stay true to yourself, then take those lessons learned, and become more. Living in the moment, takes on a new meaning as you see the day to day, as it is. What are you doing now to be more for the tomorrow? Take your time, let things unfold. Smile more, don't let your scars taint the light, that light from within. You loved once, and love you will again. Don't place time limits, then let things pass you by. It's never to late to try, or to early to start. Remember, happiness come, but it only goes if you let it. Chose to be happy. Then Happy you will be. Lo

It doesn't get any easier, how I wish I could say, exactly how I am, how I feel. Things look better everyday, Life is happening but you could be happier. dreams haunts your every step. At night you can't sleep, you feel insane. You would think that by now you could deal with this. A flood of emotions, when ever you stop and think. Look back, was it fake, was it only a forced reality of what you had wanted? No, she may say it wasn't real, but you know it was. Or you wouldn't be feeling this way. Dreams at night still are just as vivid, feelings of your love for her, are all still there. She can't be told, she doesn't want to hear it... Your mad at her, and you don't know why, you take it out on her, yet you love her more that you wish... You know without a doubt that when you look back, You're not over her, nor do you want to be. You liked what you had, all along, it is still what you want, the only thing that matters. It's all you wanted, Not the mon

The thoughts of a person defines who they are. The heart of a person defines the way they can love. Into arms and out... Find the person who can catch you, If you fall I'll be there. If you trip, I'll hold your hand. If you're lost in the dark I will provide the light. "Don't speak about it, Let it happen." What is there is for only us to have. If we have each other, we'll have the world. At the tips of our fingers. Thanks for telling me what will cripple people, Thanks for showing me the light of so many things. Thanks for telling me that I am my own worst enemy, and I don;t need to worry. This new light has begun, is brightening up a new day. The sky is bluer than normal, the grays are vastly dissipating, The darkness of the hours are all but gone now. You've been right all along on so many levels. It's taken me so much to see that. Thanks.

It's hit hard tonight, Sometimes you can't escape it. No matter how hard you try to set it aside. The pain of feeling alone stabs at your heart. Only thoughts are... "what did I do" the the whisper comes into my head: "You're not alone, I'm here, my son." I can't forget that, I may have been through a lot, A life I wanted so bad May be set aside for now, But my savior is here for me. My prophet and redeemer... I need to draw closer to him. I still feel a part of my heart missing. Time will have to heal that. I just need to stay on this path towards righteousness, I need to keep hold to the rod. Our time will come again (whoever she is) I am loved and cared for my a heavenly mother and father. I am never alone unless I do it to myself. My sins haunt me... Today was a day of sorrow for them. Somethings I have no one there to talk with, I must deal with it on my own, But with my savior to be there to guide me and hold my hand. I must stay true to my

The start of a new love. Sure, it wasn't perfect but still those first moments. Things changed, my life was taken by a whirlwind, I was brought to a new world, A new life, Somewhere I'm sure God's hand played a role. That was the first time of my life... Things were rocky, Angels we needed; then angels we became, We brought it out of each other. Even the hardest times couldn't hide it. For whatever reason we both turned each others life's upside down. Everything changed, I couldn't have wanted more. Things turned dark, Dark clouds hung above, Things take forever, and oh boy how I am slow. My hard head takes a beating before it learns. But if you can accept this, I hope you can, I have been learning from you. I have taken you into my life. "I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you And I’d probably be happy”" Rather to what end I cannot see. I swear I've changed,(I can't believe it) I don't know

So what?

Sometimes life comes at you with so many different angles, perspectives that help to clarify things. Sometimes things aren't always as it seems. Maybe the timing was wrong, maybe the difference was that I just wasn't true to myself, sometimes complicated messes are a lot more simple than we understand, sometimes what we perceived wasn't it. Maybe I'm a dreamer Maybe I'm misunderstood Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should Maybe I'm crazy But I do know that you've been in my life for reasons, for only God knows those true reasons. Maybe I am still just that dreamer, dreaming for a different day; a better day. Maybe I will just die a dreamer. Maybe dreaming will just be it. But my dreaming brings air to my winds...

There is a place where we all must go, A place so dark and lonely we wonder, "why?" Desolation is left in its wake. We are a lone now, Helpless and on our own.. The 100 reason's why not, Were misconstrued with the games our mind plays. Hope is dangling, hurt stings, Pain leaves us paralyzed. Dreams are tainted, Our Lives shattered... Does anyone feel what I do? Can anyone relate to the empty void resonating in my breast? Questions in our minds... Yet wasn;t there one who walked before us? The masked one, The unseen and hated one. Our brother has felt the pains, He's walked our paths, when we've been helpless and alone. He knows the depth of our sorrow, he knows the length of the path we are walking on. he knows where the light is at the end of the tunnel. As we trust in his arm, he will share our burdens, he will lift the chains holding us to the ground. All we need to do is hope, believe in him, love him as he loves us. We are not alone. There is one who loves us

Take a couple of steps into the darkness, then the Lord will provide you the light to get across... I am learning, I am reminiscing the times past, remember those irritating things about you that drove me crazy. Things I wish were better, I didn't want to be the excuse, but the reason for it all. Many memories that follow me, when it comes to you I know what I don't like, I know you're not perfect. I wonder if you would do anything for me? Many times you would keep so many things inside, I can feel that gap, that void, that we would normally fill. Things on your mind are portrayed with the distance you shove me away... With these reminders, at the end of the day... I still know these few things: I still love you, I still adore you, I still want to have the rest of my life with you by my side. I still am the dreamer, and you're my precious sleeper. Today was hard, I felt the void, I went to the airport, tears of reminders... I visited for the first time since, the house

Don't fall in love, it will bite you. When you're in love, you're stupid, and you justify things. You say things like "Oh it's ok, we're in love and it will be ok" Or when you should have stopped, you carry on with hope, until the day comes when your on the bottom of a million foot deep trench, wandering what the hell you could have done to get in it, but you feel comfortable down there bc you're alone to your own misery. It's torment, and it's stupid. Why do people do it to themselves. Well I hate it. I hate that I hurt, and I hate that I want to keep hurting It's like everywhere I look there are more people in love, Not just in love but happy. Is something wrong with me? Why? Why? Why? All I wanted was it... I know what I had was true, It's been tainted, It's hard now, It's not easy. One thing after another. Well I've done my best, Gave it my all, been true to what I knew was right... I would do it all over again. But now

He's a stranger to some and a vision to none He can never get enough, get enough of the one For a fortune, he'd quit but it's hard to admit. He can't ever admit, the larger problems which sits... If he could just sit, and change what exists. The heart of it all, the exits that could have been the balm, the cure... Knowing the hurt from the beginning, if only... "The fundamental problem We all need to face This is important But I know you're not listening" Could I have known the hurt before the entrances took? "With no larger problems That need to be erased Nothing more important than to know Someone's listening" If only I had listened, But now, I just feel. The hurt inside, the pain of what I know. Heaven knows, God sees... Letting it out, seeing the good plan. Helping the hurtful heart become whole. Only few can salve the bleeding out. Only God can mend this hurtful heart that has become my own. "Someone's listening Now I know You&#

Somethings wont end, I still feel confused, Once upon a time things were so clear, now I just don't know. Screaming thoughts, and my restless heart can't contemplate a life without... Standing by the one I love, man, why can't it be easier? Don't I deserve easy? Through I can't do this, as I am lost without you. Can I have the joy of rediscovering a heart I once new so well. Can't I have that heart smile again at the look of my gaze? I still the one you've seen so much in. You're still that one I've loved. I can't get around this. I'm still you're Bright Eyes. You're Bright Eye's has that plan, to love you. Faithfully, I can't stop... Nothing can change the way I've loved you. Sorry you've had a day alone, when you've hurt. I'm here to hold you. let me. I'll stand by you, uplift you, show you the light... Talk to me... what do you got to hide? I know you. The way back is... Here before you. Sorry its a repe

Sandy beaches underneath your feet, the crisp sound of waves splashing on the shore. Half dressed women in bikini's wanting more. Thrown parties, beach kick offs, camp fires... The playfulness of the lightning bugs dancing through the night. The smell of the salt brightening up your senses, Sends a shivers through your body. You want more... Music, shops, resorts, play, dance the night away. Show the night you are its master. in the end, you've played hard, even compromised yourself, Lost apart of you, you've never known you could lose. But who cares the beach has spoken, and you have answered its call... The cool crisp wind of unforgiving winters, the prickling of your skin as it gets colder; its melodic song almost as a voice... cuing you, relaxing you... The green lush valleys spanning out for miles, the rocky cliffs daring you to leap for home. paths that wind through the mountains tempting you to travel deep into them, never looking back, but always further in. Which p

"Good things happen to good people," so I've heard. What if you are a good person and bad things happen? Many times you didn't even know it was a good thing until you see all that has been accomplished after it was done, or even the outcome doesn't always seem all that fantastic until after it happens. I know one thing, it was right. Anything can be worked out and turned into a great thing. Just be that person. Be there, and see it through. Letting yourself fall only to become stronger is never an easy feat. I just pray for the best, and the best only ever happens after work and work. Maybe you just need some time alone I will try to understand Everything has its plan Either way I'm gonna stay Right for you Staying right is a commitment to yourself, being that person who stays right for himself, is in essence staying right for that person you want to marry or have married. Maybe the sun will shine today The clouds will roll away Maybe I won't be so afraid

I was once a king, built up and brought up to greatness. you are a queen, beautiful and regal... Now a shadow of a past caught up to the present jaded by heartbreak. Into the night we came, out of a fight we went. Into the night Desperate and broken The sound of a fight Father has spoken We ruled the night, untouched and heart-shaped. Now we wonder, unsolved, incomplete. We were the kings and queens of promise We were the victims of ourselves Maybe the children of a lesser God Between Heaven and Hell Heaven and Hell Into your eyes Hopeless and taken We stole our new lives Through blood and pain In defense of our dreams... I've made my mistakes once or twice. my heart is racing. This is new, I am uncertain. But I know where my heart is, openly past sight. Secretly in your arms, my queen, my princess... with it all I am still that King of old. and you, you are that queen of promise... Children of a greater God. Into the light Wholesome and strengthened, we came from a good fight. Fa

A complex home for an unseen love. easy without the glamor of princesses but now the pain of unseen daggers. Knowing whats underneath it all is fresh pure and happy, but now what's above is cloudy, slightly jaded, and unwelcoming. A complex heart is only longing to go back to clearer more simplistic times, when things made more sense and were easier. Knowing that love was but a stone throw away. "when mix tapes were made with homemade covers" Before the markings of the sin I welcomed when this was how you were... You, how did you get so wise? I take the advice I find in your eyes. Me, I’ve been waiting outside Most of my life, Oh like a rare b-side. When you saw things in my eyes that spoke a 1000 times louder than any word I could say. And the purity of it all started it all off all so well. Now I have a screaming voice in my head. Yelling at me, why, WHY, WWHHYYY!?! but "It's not finished yet, another 1000 times..." when lyrics only stood out because you s

I can't look at someone without missing things. I look for reminders. I can;t help it, I do things so that I can help to mask how I really feel inside. I can;t help the way I feel. It hurts inside. I miss her, I miss her eyes, I miss her skin, her smile, her figure, her lips on mine, her small hands, small feet, I so wanted to be the last blossom, the happy ending, I cant mask that. I have a gaping hole, nothing feels complete. Why, WHY, WWWHHHYYYY!!! I want to see if she feels the same. I want to know if she cares. If she feels the way I do. I miss so many things about her... I can only mask it... I miss those times watching T.V. in her house. I miss talking to her, sharing with her bits and pieces of her soul. I miss when she opened up to me. I miss when she talked to me about what's on her mind. No matter what else I can't help these feelings. I wanted so much to be the happy ending with her there. I hate this. I have to put these feelings somewhere. I go home and I can;

Hope Dangles on a string, like soul spinning redemption, winding in and winding out, the shine of which has caught my eye... Vindicated: To be free from guilt... Knowing that you have done all you can, a clear conscious. Say you miss me and that you want me. Fight for something greater than life and know that it is the greatest thing you could do for yourself. It starts somewhere between midnight and one O'clock. A feeling when you know you should do something yet you just can't put your finger on it. A thought a motive... Just say it already, quite running, quite hiding. Let your feelings out. Liberate your heart, free you mind of the whirlwind plaguing you. Let it be known, don't hide in darkness, run to the light my only one. Hope brought this to the point where I knew hope must carry on without one another, hoping that we could do better become more. I never deserted you, just don't desert me. Feel what you could lose, see it, don't give up, grip on then fight

"It might be easy to judge all that kindness If you had grown accustomed to a darkness in a life But certainly any room with a view of other windows must have doors that you can use So that you can be happy for the first time in your life Hey man it's your destiny You can stop by anytime And maybe you'll find someone to lay some roots down next to you Be more like the trees and less like the clouds stop movin' around so much" Kindness often comes to those who don't know how to accept it or even welcome it. Like a fire to a cave man. If he only understood how it came to be. The fact is that God works through his children. If we only knew how to grasp a hold of it, the simple fact that we don't have to do anything at all to receive the Love from our father.... "I'm all alone now and I feel just find I don't feel much like doing anything True love ain't that hard to find Not that either one of us will ever know Would you lay here for awhile?

Here I am, mr. doom and Gloom. I am just laughing at myself. Here I am mourning a loss of someone I've never lost. I need to keep it together. Need to keep things in perspective. Be light hearted, be jovial. Let Light elevate you. Just got to keep it together. Gotta keep it in perspective. Why always the down play. Doom and Gloom isn't necessary. Keep it together Let the Light elevate you. I dont need to keep on wishing, I need to continue to do. just keep it together, Keep the ball rolling. Just let the Light Elevate you.

Another morning waking up as if it was a dream. Well it was a dream, another night with sara in my dreams. Tis a good thing that she is on my mind I guess. I don't know why I keep dreaming about her. They are very pleasant, my dreams, about her. always the sense of companionship and Love. Two full hearts intertwined as if they were one entity. A place of solace and peace, with security. My time with her wasn't quite like that. Much to the contrary on many occasions. It was hard for her to have me with her; which was a trial of our relationship. I always pushed to move forward, she wanted to step backwards, as I showed love it wasn't always reciprocated. I wish I could change things, start it again on a new foot, under a different light.I wish I could have been more patient, I still am but more patient during critical points of our relationship, sin tempted me and such temptation affected my movements and the way I acted back then. To think that I had once let my sin and tem

I have had a lot happen in my life. Many of which were unplanned and unexpected. I have matured in ways that only the Lord could have helped. This stage of my life is hard. My decisions have led me down a road I thought and still hope will have a particular someone beside me. I can't get over my dreams that ran so deep. I must hope that someday if there is a day for history to repeat it self. Then it will under more favorable circumstances. She is my best friend and will be indefinably, yet that wont mask for a minute the reality of the way I feel for her. I would do many things more different, A. Start much slower with her. I wished I could have waited to kiss her. B. I would have cleaned my slate so I would have never ever broke that Chasity law. C. I would have been a little more selfish and stood up for my self on more occasions. D. I would have been that man and said NO. For now I am focusing on myself, figuring things out so that I can be stronger emotionally, physically, s

Journal, I've spent the greater part of this night crying, Go away sin I dont want you any more. I did this to my self, I wasn't strong enough. I was not the man I know I am. Pain and heart ache go away. Dread and hurt haunts me. I gave in to carnal desires, I let slip the Love of my Life. I'm not worthy of such care or companionship. Not when I've acted like such a boy... I know what I need to do, and I will do it. I will do it for my future wife. I will do it for my soul. I will do this for all of who I am. I will do this for myself. I know the steps forward will be lonely. They wont be easy. But I must do this. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is for me, He bled and died for me. I must take it on my self. Continue to walk my own paths towards galgatha's hill. I must have my own Gethsemanie. So I may be found worthy again of the Joys Holiness and Purity has to offer. I must do this, I must walk this road. Those who are with me, may they do it. All I know is that I am

Watch me, see me, I am serious. If you want less, It'll kill me but its yours. I know you don't always want what I want, but in so many ways you do. Same priorities, same passions and loves. We have one hang-up that's what makes it hard. Just one Hang-up that makes me want to quit and see my way out. But I made a promise and I swear I'm going to keep it. Whenever I close my eyes and picture what it can be, I say to myself, "Hell no I'm not going to give up, there is so much we can do." I know you're not "ready" in your mind you keep fighting, and outer worldly influences traps your train of thoughts and limits your progression. But I swear to the man on high that we will make this whole thing NOW We've come this far, with so many memories, I don't want to redo this with anyone else other than the girl of my dreams right now. Heartbreak kids never win, they just let life slip away and wonder what could have been. I'm not in for the

Perfect people for one another, Perfect situations that blossoms growth and success Perfect Loves that weathers the worst storms, Perfect Dreams made reality, Perfect Lives, completion, Perfect peace of mind, Perfect Friendships of mutual love and respect, Perfect Hearts molded into one... Truth is nothing is perfect but what is made of it. Letting perfection happen is that of making it happen. Be grateful for what you have and those you have, then seeing what has been given to you. Then you realize that this is perfect for you. Letting God cultivate then create your very own perfect ideal situations and life, is that of humility. Perfection is only ever acquired as you give yourself to him. Perfect hearts comes from many years of toiling... Perfect Loves come from hundreds of steps and faith forward. Perfect friendships arises from experiences and patience. Perfect Lives are only ever perfect with unselfish movements forward and that of being contempt with with God's blessings. An

"Come lay, see the colors of this rainbow." the boy said "its better over here..." "but why" the girl said, "life is better how I thought it once was. Dreams faded once I don't know how to dream again." "Just Lay down beside me" he said and "don't wonder "why" or if you can, just take my hand, this isn't that facade, its real, the colors of this rainbow are so breath taking, I promise." "I've heard those lines before, yet they were all lies." "Look up, see what I see. See the colors of the rainbow above us, feel it with me as the rainbow comes to the earth and allows us to touch it." "I'm scared to, it seems all to good. How about I just take one step closer to you instead." "...If that's what you want, the boy said "I'll still be here to take your hand, but this rainbow is so breathtaking its so real, I really wish you would look at it, just one pee

Colors on the wall, an unfinished picture… Colors many Colors with no direction nor definition; just blurs of half completed thoughts… The picture was started… reverse… the picture has meaning… back up… You’ve done too much… The splashes on the wall, with defining edges that tried to make a shape of the unfocused picture which started yet tripped… Colors on the wall have heart yet its incomplete elegance has an un touched pain. It doesn’t make sense it doesn’t sync. Just a blur of emotion and pictures let out on canvas… Colorful blurs that mark depth, unseen desires, unheard words, images take shape as they unfold… A heart shaped box, an unwound ball of twine, pins and needles, scars, tears, joy, Music boxes, sheet music, note pads with no words, note pads with words, a person singing, a person laughing, clouds, shadows, fear, jumping, embracement, falling, stopping, confusion, walls built, walls being taken down… Words lots of words some in phrases others left alone also mark this bal

"It looks better from in here" I dared to say One would have thought a life worth living, would be easy enough. A Path you thought would make sense the minute you started, twists and turns like the others. One thought that people around you were real and someone worth while. Well The one is, every minute of every day I fall more and more for her, yet other(s) fake and full of malicious intents. Mask's of Gold torn off with fiery under tones. Its a sad day when you thought one person, someone completely different. Then with a blink of an eye attacks you to the person you love. But at the end of the day you can move forward, having been hit all the more clearly with your weaknesses, with a humble heart ready and set to change and to grow. With this you are Better aware that certain people can not be trusted; while some (the one) is worth fighting for, while the others are better off to be cut out... Most are the liars with the jealous under scores, set on bringing you down

Watch what you do, consequences comes from mistakes. You can't run from what you've done. If you fall you will will bruise your knee. If You run into a sharp blade you will get stabbed. Either way you can not get around your mistakes. You must fess up to them and choke them at the root so you can get ahead. Life wont let you forget until you correct. My frugal attempts around important commandments has gotten me down all to many times. Time to be a man and move forward. Time to stand up and quite running from my fears and time to find a healthy balance that will even me out. I am sick of unhealthy habits. I am sick of obsessing. I am sick of my weaknesses. I must make it through. I must find a way to change. I must not let the sin of my fathers take control of who I want to become. I must continue to build who I am from the foundation I have set in Christ. I can do this. Luckily I am not alone. Luckily I am loved and adored. So here it goes. Moving forward, Never looking back.

This is me, let it show. When your life has been laid out before you. When your hopes are in reach. I wont settle, this is me. Second place is not my dream Yet conquering my dreams is the place for me. Let it be know, that I wont stop. Let it be known, I know what I want. I wont settle, this is me Shoot for the heavens, then get the world. This was meant to be, We deserve it. God has shown me a glimpse of the Heavens, The world is small. this is me, let it be known. my heart is set. 2nd is a poor excuse. My vision has been set, It is happening. I hope, I plan. I know I've seen. Every second of everyday. I get closer. I see it now, I could be happier, for this hasn't been harder. Life is what it is. But what I can make of it. I will. I will take you with me. I set. This is me, take it or leave it.

The is a time and a place for things unreal and the things unimaginable. Material wealth, material folly. Emotional strength to the moment of weaknesses. A time will come when all that was hoped for is in reach. The difference between the few to the many is that those few will work and wont stop till the day comes when they obtain those dreams. It baffles me when I hear hurt and pain, yet that person is not actively doing anything for themselves to their betterment. Yet those few are they who despite all trials and pains push ahead and accomplishes that by which un-heard and un-imaginable to they who would rather complain and gripe about their lacks in life. To those listening, don't settle, don't stop. The goals and dreams are in sight. Never lose the hope that's required to get to what you desire. Push through the pain, Dig into the depths of your soul, find what you're searching for. You can make it, their wouldn't be any other way. just don't give up. There

I have never thought something to be so hard, but so important for the one you love. Its hard to understand exactly why, or what it is. But time is worth it's weight in Gold as I see it. People has said, you try to hard, others say, "you're crazy" yet... keep it up. I know they dont understand for I see it, and want it. waiting is not a virtue, yet patience is. The difference marks what I am doing now. I am being patient, for a hope, for a dream. Patience is actively working for something that will come in time. It's not waiting, its believing the striving everyday to keep it moving forward, so that one day your patience would have paid off. Impatience is in my nature, patience has been an acquired trait. Even though you drive me crazy, I dont understand always, yet I see you as "worth it" Every minute, with a tear in my eye, every minute I have you in my life is worth the pain and torture I sometimes feel. You're not like others, you are your self,

Love started, as it was found… The bond made complete as the joining of two start crossed lovers finally realize this its truth, This is love, and it’s not meant to end. The day of March twentieth of the year two thousand and ten marked a new beginning. We went to the mall; I held your hand as we from store to store, having the time of our lives just being with each other doing what hobby we love most! A heart pendant said it all… Love as if you’ve never been hurt. The trigger was set. I protected you from the emotion less looks of thought close friends… We went to hang out with close friends which are what we do best. Then the car, the music, the spirit the revelations, the inspirations. All built up to through the sharing of our thoughts and feelings. We are clean, pure and holy, and we stayed that way the whole time… Then I felt prompted to share with you an excerpt from my patriartical blessing “This daughter my father gave me is you, many are hoping to have the blessings of the co

My feelings for you are for real…. I love you, that’s all I can say and explain It came as a whirlwind, faster than both of us thought could happen Before I knew it I was caught up in a Love Story… with me as the main character, And you, my dream, my queen…. I couldn’t have asked for a better story really Sara… Our story started the fifteenth of February in the year two thousand and ten. On a friends’ Face Book page you found me, Then I remember the first message that came to me (It was during a very hard, low point of my life) You picked me up that day and flew into my life, little did we know that I would be picking you up while you were sick a week later from that date… That night I called, we bonded, then the magic started. You made me a CD on a vinyl, full of songs, and deep thoughts from your heart… (if love was a poison I’ll drink it up…) You wanted me to know you, in a deep and sensual way, a way no one else had seen you… As I listened to that CD I sa