The Depth of a Soul..

A man of passion they say, A figment of imagination to most. A figure of outstanding grace, A lost soul who needs saving, A mirage of values, Yet to far gone to know his head from his ass. He walks through life, Admired by many, disgusted by some, Loved by a few. Intrigued by love, but not in love. Intrigue by light, Yet stands in darkness. The assumptive glance, or the calculated measure. Sick of the conclusions, Sick of the game. Tired of miscalculations, okay with the inevitable. Stop assuming, You assumptive ass. Just because I love the concept of love, Hell I write about it, Doesn't mean I'm in love. Addressing the questions, avoiding the answers. Facing the criticism, expecting the reality. Twisted by the ways of the world, Twisted by life, Tainted by Grace, A Tainted hope. With an Attained measure of it all. A man of passion, A figment of virtue, and Brushed with the lust of living. I was raised with conservative values, I

An old friend recently asked me how I was doing. Fine I said, Fine I say... Happy to be alive, Happy to be me. Glad to be at work, Glad to be amongst the walking. Excited for the unknown.. Yet, I wanted to say.. There's been a hole in my heart, Too wide to fill, Too wide to live with. It hurts. I heart. Sure I'm a year better than 6 months ago, and I feel more me than ever, It is true. And please... I know I've been through a lot. I know I cant control what has been, Just what will. I get this. Yet at times, I still get caught up in the should haves, The what could of's and the always tomorrow. I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed. And at the base of it, There's always more I can do, Always more to be. The drain keeps circling, and sometimes I feel like I keep on the rounding. I know better.. Yet I still try to control the uncontrollable's, Sometimes I can't stop, or so I've felt. Everyday is a new fight, fi