New Age

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I have had a lot happen in my life. Many of which were unplanned and unexpected. I have matured in ways that only the Lord could have helped. This stage of my life is hard. My decisions have led me down a road I thought and still hope will have a particular someone beside me. I can't get over my dreams that ran so deep. I must hope that someday if there is a day for history to repeat it self. Then it will under more favorable circumstances. She is my best friend and will be indefinably, yet that wont mask for a minute the reality of the way I feel for her. I would do many things more different, A. Start much slower with her. I wished I could have waited to kiss her.
B. I would have cleaned my slate so I would have never ever broke that Chasity law. C. I would have been a little more selfish and stood up for my self on more occasions. D. I would have been that man and said NO.

For now I am focusing on myself, figuring things out so that I can be stronger emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. I will hope that we could pick things up again, whenever I meet a new girl I can't get out of my mind what I love about sara and the things that have lead me to her in the past and still do. Whoever and wherever the future may lead, they have big shoes to fill and I know what I want in a person. I have already found that person, but if it may not happen I must be ready for that.

So the time has come to stand taller, and be better. For that's where I am at now. Being the man I know I am, and maturing in ways I have never fully grasped on before.

Its late I have much to do tomorrow. I need to stay focus and make up for the last two days of aimlessness...

I can do this. Good night.

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