Nobody will surprise me unless you do.

-


"Nobody will surprise me unless you do."

I can't say what I feel,
Or Be the way I want to be..

What if either way is right?

He was was right - 
When things get hard,
I find a safe place and I run,
Push to hard and Or hide.
Then i protect myself,
Close up,
And shut off to others.

I'm strong,
But scared.
I've been hurt so many times...
By those I've cared about the most.
I'm not good at this.

I don't know how to act..
 Have I been anything less than Genuine?
No.
Do I not know how to say what I am feeling?
Yes...
Selfish - who isn't?
Yes...

Did I mean to sound or be, 
The way I'm portraying myself?
No...

I'm sorry -
I didn't want you to be pushed into a corner..
Sorry for making things more complicated..
I'm not good at this.

Am I scarred? 
Yes.
Do I wish I was different?
In this case...
Yes.

Do I want to push you away?
No.
Am I doing it Subconsciously?
Yes...

Can I be pushy?
It's one of my least favorite qualities..
Yes...

Am I Insecure?
Yes.

But I'm sure and confident,
With what I want.

Do i have good intentions?
Yeah...

Am I messed up....?
Who isn't.

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