The Depth of a Soul..

He's a stranger to some and a vision to none He can never get enough, get enough of the one For a fortune, he'd quit but it's hard to admit. He can't ever admit, the larger problems which sits... If he could just sit, and change what exists. The heart of it all, the exits that could have been the balm, the cure... Knowing the hurt from the beginning, if only... "The fundamental problem We all need to face This is important But I know you're not listening" Could I have known the hurt before the entrances took? "With no larger problems That need to be erased Nothing more important than to know Someone's listening" If only I had listened, But now, I just feel. The hurt inside, the pain of what I know. Heaven knows, God sees... Letting it out, seeing the good plan. Helping the hurtful heart become whole. Only few can salve the bleeding out. Only God can mend this hurtful heart that has become my own. "Someone's listening Now I know You...

Somethings wont end, I still feel confused, Once upon a time things were so clear, now I just don't know. Screaming thoughts, and my restless heart can't contemplate a life without... Standing by the one I love, man, why can't it be easier? Don't I deserve easy? Through I can't do this, as I am lost without you. Can I have the joy of rediscovering a heart I once new so well. Can't I have that heart smile again at the look of my gaze? I still the one you've seen so much in. You're still that one I've loved. I can't get around this. I'm still you're Bright Eyes. You're Bright Eye's has that plan, to love you. Faithfully, I can't stop... Nothing can change the way I've loved you. Sorry you've had a day alone, when you've hurt. I'm here to hold you. let me. I'll stand by you, uplift you, show you the light... Talk to me... what do you got to hide? I know you. The way back is... Here before you. Sorry its a repe...

Sandy beaches underneath your feet, the crisp sound of waves splashing on the shore. Half dressed women in bikini's wanting more. Thrown parties, beach kick offs, camp fires... The playfulness of the lightning bugs dancing through the night. The smell of the salt brightening up your senses, Sends a shivers through your body. You want more... Music, shops, resorts, play, dance the night away. Show the night you are its master. in the end, you've played hard, even compromised yourself, Lost apart of you, you've never known you could lose. But who cares the beach has spoken, and you have answered its call... The cool crisp wind of unforgiving winters, the prickling of your skin as it gets colder; its melodic song almost as a voice... cuing you, relaxing you... The green lush valleys spanning out for miles, the rocky cliffs daring you to leap for home. paths that wind through the mountains tempting you to travel deep into them, never looking back, but always further in. Which p...

"Good things happen to good people," so I've heard. What if you are a good person and bad things happen? Many times you didn't even know it was a good thing until you see all that has been accomplished after it was done, or even the outcome doesn't always seem all that fantastic until after it happens. I know one thing, it was right. Anything can be worked out and turned into a great thing. Just be that person. Be there, and see it through. Letting yourself fall only to become stronger is never an easy feat. I just pray for the best, and the best only ever happens after work and work. Maybe you just need some time alone I will try to understand Everything has its plan Either way I'm gonna stay Right for you Staying right is a commitment to yourself, being that person who stays right for himself, is in essence staying right for that person you want to marry or have married. Maybe the sun will shine today The clouds will roll away Maybe I won't be so afraid ...

I was once a king, built up and brought up to greatness. you are a queen, beautiful and regal... Now a shadow of a past caught up to the present jaded by heartbreak. Into the night we came, out of a fight we went. Into the night Desperate and broken The sound of a fight Father has spoken We ruled the night, untouched and heart-shaped. Now we wonder, unsolved, incomplete. We were the kings and queens of promise We were the victims of ourselves Maybe the children of a lesser God Between Heaven and Hell Heaven and Hell Into your eyes Hopeless and taken We stole our new lives Through blood and pain In defense of our dreams... I've made my mistakes once or twice. my heart is racing. This is new, I am uncertain. But I know where my heart is, openly past sight. Secretly in your arms, my queen, my princess... with it all I am still that King of old. and you, you are that queen of promise... Children of a greater God. Into the light Wholesome and strengthened, we came from a good fight. Fa...

A complex home for an unseen love. easy without the glamor of princesses but now the pain of unseen daggers. Knowing whats underneath it all is fresh pure and happy, but now what's above is cloudy, slightly jaded, and unwelcoming. A complex heart is only longing to go back to clearer more simplistic times, when things made more sense and were easier. Knowing that love was but a stone throw away. "when mix tapes were made with homemade covers" Before the markings of the sin I welcomed when this was how you were... You, how did you get so wise? I take the advice I find in your eyes. Me, I’ve been waiting outside Most of my life, Oh like a rare b-side. When you saw things in my eyes that spoke a 1000 times louder than any word I could say. And the purity of it all started it all off all so well. Now I have a screaming voice in my head. Yelling at me, why, WHY, WWHHYYY!?! but "It's not finished yet, another 1000 times..." when lyrics only stood out because you s...

I can't look at someone without missing things. I look for reminders. I can;t help it, I do things so that I can help to mask how I really feel inside. I can;t help the way I feel. It hurts inside. I miss her, I miss her eyes, I miss her skin, her smile, her figure, her lips on mine, her small hands, small feet, I so wanted to be the last blossom, the happy ending, I cant mask that. I have a gaping hole, nothing feels complete. Why, WHY, WWWHHHYYYY!!! I want to see if she feels the same. I want to know if she cares. If she feels the way I do. I miss so many things about her... I can only mask it... I miss those times watching T.V. in her house. I miss talking to her, sharing with her bits and pieces of her soul. I miss when she opened up to me. I miss when she talked to me about what's on her mind. No matter what else I can't help these feelings. I wanted so much to be the happy ending with her there. I hate this. I have to put these feelings somewhere. I go home and I can;...

Hope Dangles on a string, like soul spinning redemption, winding in and winding out, the shine of which has caught my eye... Vindicated: To be free from guilt... Knowing that you have done all you can, a clear conscious. Say you miss me and that you want me. Fight for something greater than life and know that it is the greatest thing you could do for yourself. It starts somewhere between midnight and one O'clock. A feeling when you know you should do something yet you just can't put your finger on it. A thought a motive... Just say it already, quite running, quite hiding. Let your feelings out. Liberate your heart, free you mind of the whirlwind plaguing you. Let it be known, don't hide in darkness, run to the light my only one. Hope brought this to the point where I knew hope must carry on without one another, hoping that we could do better become more. I never deserted you, just don't desert me. Feel what you could lose, see it, don't give up, grip on then fight ...

"It might be easy to judge all that kindness If you had grown accustomed to a darkness in a life But certainly any room with a view of other windows must have doors that you can use So that you can be happy for the first time in your life Hey man it's your destiny You can stop by anytime And maybe you'll find someone to lay some roots down next to you Be more like the trees and less like the clouds stop movin' around so much" Kindness often comes to those who don't know how to accept it or even welcome it. Like a fire to a cave man. If he only understood how it came to be. The fact is that God works through his children. If we only knew how to grasp a hold of it, the simple fact that we don't have to do anything at all to receive the Love from our father.... "I'm all alone now and I feel just find I don't feel much like doing anything True love ain't that hard to find Not that either one of us will ever know Would you lay here for awhile? ...

Here I am, mr. doom and Gloom. I am just laughing at myself. Here I am mourning a loss of someone I've never lost. I need to keep it together. Need to keep things in perspective. Be light hearted, be jovial. Let Light elevate you. Just got to keep it together. Gotta keep it in perspective. Why always the down play. Doom and Gloom isn't necessary. Keep it together Let the Light elevate you. I dont need to keep on wishing, I need to continue to do. just keep it together, Keep the ball rolling. Just let the Light Elevate you.

Another morning waking up as if it was a dream. Well it was a dream, another night with sara in my dreams. Tis a good thing that she is on my mind I guess. I don't know why I keep dreaming about her. They are very pleasant, my dreams, about her. always the sense of companionship and Love. Two full hearts intertwined as if they were one entity. A place of solace and peace, with security. My time with her wasn't quite like that. Much to the contrary on many occasions. It was hard for her to have me with her; which was a trial of our relationship. I always pushed to move forward, she wanted to step backwards, as I showed love it wasn't always reciprocated. I wish I could change things, start it again on a new foot, under a different light.I wish I could have been more patient, I still am but more patient during critical points of our relationship, sin tempted me and such temptation affected my movements and the way I acted back then. To think that I had once let my sin and tem...

I have had a lot happen in my life. Many of which were unplanned and unexpected. I have matured in ways that only the Lord could have helped. This stage of my life is hard. My decisions have led me down a road I thought and still hope will have a particular someone beside me. I can't get over my dreams that ran so deep. I must hope that someday if there is a day for history to repeat it self. Then it will under more favorable circumstances. She is my best friend and will be indefinably, yet that wont mask for a minute the reality of the way I feel for her. I would do many things more different, A. Start much slower with her. I wished I could have waited to kiss her. B. I would have cleaned my slate so I would have never ever broke that Chasity law. C. I would have been a little more selfish and stood up for my self on more occasions. D. I would have been that man and said NO. For now I am focusing on myself, figuring things out so that I can be stronger emotionally, physically, s...

Journal, I've spent the greater part of this night crying, Go away sin I dont want you any more. I did this to my self, I wasn't strong enough. I was not the man I know I am. Pain and heart ache go away. Dread and hurt haunts me. I gave in to carnal desires, I let slip the Love of my Life. I'm not worthy of such care or companionship. Not when I've acted like such a boy... I know what I need to do, and I will do it. I will do it for my future wife. I will do it for my soul. I will do this for all of who I am. I will do this for myself. I know the steps forward will be lonely. They wont be easy. But I must do this. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is for me, He bled and died for me. I must take it on my self. Continue to walk my own paths towards galgatha's hill. I must have my own Gethsemanie. So I may be found worthy again of the Joys Holiness and Purity has to offer. I must do this, I must walk this road. Those who are with me, may they do it. All I know is that I am...

Watch me, see me, I am serious. If you want less, It'll kill me but its yours. I know you don't always want what I want, but in so many ways you do. Same priorities, same passions and loves. We have one hang-up that's what makes it hard. Just one Hang-up that makes me want to quit and see my way out. But I made a promise and I swear I'm going to keep it. Whenever I close my eyes and picture what it can be, I say to myself, "Hell no I'm not going to give up, there is so much we can do." I know you're not "ready" in your mind you keep fighting, and outer worldly influences traps your train of thoughts and limits your progression. But I swear to the man on high that we will make this whole thing NOW We've come this far, with so many memories, I don't want to redo this with anyone else other than the girl of my dreams right now. Heartbreak kids never win, they just let life slip away and wonder what could have been. I'm not in for the...