The Depth of a Soul..

In the heart of a warrior. The focus, and grit. Giving up is not an option, Giving in is unheard of. Fighting till the end, Pushing to your final limits. I've heard the call, and I've risen up. Time to fight. The enemy is clear, The way is open. Knowing when to stop, to come back around and try again. Standing up, and never sitting down. The goal is clear, your gait is set. Everyday, and every moment You you face the challenge, and relish in it's repose. I move to find, Seek to see. I wont give up, and I wont give in. I have the heart of a warrior. Focused, and unrelenting. Its not just about winning, but it's about conquering. I've spent my time meandering. But not anymore. NOT anymore.  I will stand back up, and I wont give in. I am who I set out to be. This has been a long time coming, and has been for sometime. This time, is my time. I'm done apologizing, Done feeling sorry. I have repented, I have forgi...

A chance, The chance? Learning how to jump. Or figuring out what it is that's worthy of jumping for? Crippling something before it started, Or maybe not jumping because you're scared? That's why it's called a leap of faith. It scared me once or twice that you weren't willing to. But out of respect I wouldn't ever say other wise. Who am I to tell you what to do? No one. You can't be told how to feel, Or to act. So it ends with you. Just not feeling to the extent possible. Or not wanting to I guess.. The ledge has been there. Soon there won't be anyone to jump for. Unless you find someone new. For this someone might not be able to catch you. That's if you don't do it soon... If you can't take that leap, Then I have to back out. I don't want to be ahead of you. I can't do that again. For I've done something similar to it before. You're worth it for me. But I'll have to take my space. And pr...

I didn't know you, but yet I knew you. The hope of a better tomorrow, the light on your face, the brightness of your eyes. Your sister would have loved.. The thought of you being here is but a smile I can only hope to witness again. You are gone, You are gone... The timing was wrong, The thought's nothing but pain. The idea of, the hope of. It's not fair, for so many reasons. And so it feels like, It feels like... Heavens so far away, and nobody cares. The World's grown cold, and I'm still here. The thoughts are fleeting, but the pain is still there. I haven't dealt with it, I ran from the thoughts.. Now it's here. The thought of holding your sister, and knowing you could have been.. I'm hoping that you were given another chance, That somehow, someway, You were given another home. A home with two loving parents, functionality. It would't have been that way with us, A broken home to be, A broken world to co...

A source of sadness one may say. The act of being trapped in the confines of ones mind. A never ending cycle, until it breaks. To stepping out of the circle, figuring out the needs from within. I can't say it enough, Or pretend to be any more clear. Pain comes in all forms, some evaporates initially, others linger indefinitely. A pain that resonates to the very core. A never ending loop. Happy to sad, and despair to anger, to despair and a sense of loss. I'm so tired of this, yet it's normal. Rationally I can say "Okay, let's do this." When in reality I just want to scream. Will it stop? Can my mind move on? Can the sense of loss ever dissipate? Can I see the end, and not just the middle? Why can't I be done feeling.. Now this is okay. This is the path I'm on. I can survive as I will survive. Sometimes I just want to quit. Quit feeling the pain, and enjoy the peace. I want to enjoy the sunlight again, Not liv...

A day's gone, The night spent, A hope played, A connection made, To chasing dreams, To making it home. The train of ones mind, Down the endless corridors to their soul. Stuck in the meta, Stuck in the fog, The never ending rail. I can't get out of my head, I can't leave my mind. To the over thoughts, To the not thought of enough. All are trespassing the stage of my mind. To dreams being put away, To hearts ever hanging on a thread, To love freely given. Begging to be set free, Wishing, Praying. You once told me, that to this day was reborn, To this day I met you, Yet, to this day you stayed away Tomorrow will be better than yesterday, Yet stuck in my mind, I stay. Don't worry about me, Don't worry about me. I'm better off than most, Better off than they. Heavens hope, And to Satan's bane. Dont worry about me, I'm just lost in my mind Help me please, see the error of my ways. Help me get it. For this end ...

A place I only go, The place I only feel. Where my mind rests, Where I feel whole, Feel loved. Where I can rest, Fill fulfilled, Back to the place where it started.. The smell of freshly cut grass, Or that summer southern breeze.. A light afternoon rain shower. Peace and hope. Two words I want more than anything else.  Take me to that southern barbecue, To the week long camp ground. That Thai restaurant we'd always go, To Wednesday night choir practices, Summer swim meets, Pep rallies and home foot ball games. Things have grown complicated, yet it's still simple, Back to that place... Holding Ivy in my arms, Those first moments she took breaths, she looked up at me the whole time, I was just some blog of light, but I'll never forget it. Home. Love. Laughs.  At the end of the day, I close my eyes and give my thanks to be alive. It's been a long road, It hasn't been easy. Even wit...

A man of passion they say, A figment of imagination to most. A figure of outstanding grace, A lost soul who needs saving, A mirage of values, Yet to far gone to know his head from his ass. He walks through life, Admired by many, disgusted by some, Loved by a few. Intrigued by love, but not in love. Intrigue by light, Yet stands in darkness. The assumptive glance, or the calculated measure. Sick of the conclusions, Sick of the game. Tired of miscalculations, okay with the inevitable. Stop assuming, You assumptive ass. Just because I love the concept of love, Hell I write about it, Doesn't mean I'm in love. Addressing the questions, avoiding the answers. Facing the criticism, expecting the reality. Twisted by the ways of the world, Twisted by life, Tainted by Grace, A Tainted hope. With an Attained measure of it all. A man of passion, A figment of virtue, and Brushed with the lust of living. I was raised with conservative values, I ...