To you, my brother.

Do you know?
Can you tell?
Walking similar paths,
rather intentionally or not intentionally,
Who's counting?
The point is,
It's not a bad thing.
Rather you can admit it or not,
Accept it.
Actions mirror.
You did that,
I didn't ask,
I did warn.

But.
I hope it doesn't end like mine.

You were always the good of the three.
I've always admired the things you've done,
The things you've been capable of.
That sweet kid,
that genuine heart, all adored.
You've always had that light in your eye.
That light that comes from an inner peace.
A moral code...
Remember that.

Remember this,
Pride has a way to jade an image.
I've seen the way you've looked at me,
I know you care,
and have been there through thick and thin,
but I can tell.
There's a part of you that think you're better than I,
or maybe smarter.
That blindness of yours,
Is only an overlook, a misjudgment.
You've done a lot,
Many of which is much similar as me.

Can you see it?
Circumstances are different of course.
I wouldn't say better,
because only time can tell.
You rushed this to quickly for it to be better than mine,
as of yet.

I say this so you can be aware.
I love you brother.
Always have,
always will.
But sometimes you can be so blind,
I've seen it for quite some time now.
Many of the answers you've sought,
have always been right under your nose.
Sometimes I just wanted to shake you and end it with a hard smack.

I don't say this out of spite,
but out of love.
Brother to Brother,
Man to man.

Here's a little advice,
Things I've wished I had done differently.

Never feel trapped.
Never feel forced.
Never feel obligated.
Remember the why,
Remember the "who"
The Who you are,
Who she is.

But always know,
Loyalty with an eye single,
is admirable, and the way you were raised to be.

Yet remember, There is always another option.
Not in a bad way, but in liberation.
Guilt, shame and anger will form a dome around you.
A dome that can;t be penetrated,
unless you let go.
Something,
believe it or not,
Dad taught me.

That's something I wish I felt back then.
I would have maintained my peace for much longer.

And know this.
You can be the man you've always wanted to be.
Don't let any single or many "things" change that.
Rather a life style change,
A religious unshackling,
A culture left high and dry,
Don't let these thoughts,
Stay this anger that's been guiding you.

Unresolved issues will only haunt you,
They will come back 7 fold.
Especially now,
with so much more on your plate.
Too often I've seen the seeds of doubt over rule you.
Even now I see the pull of one thing or another has on you.

May I ask?
What guides you now?
What principles do you strive for?

Brother.
You're a dad now,
and a dad to be.
You don't have anymore time to figure this out,
The exact thing you were escaping,
It wasn't that long ago.

Take care of it.
Or it will all come crashing down.

Okay brother,
Here it is,
someday you might read this,
I will send it to you.
That day when I feel like you won't immediately lash out at anger.
The things said here won't be easy for you to read.
But you must.

For I don't want you to walk through anything close to the pain I have.
This darkness I've encountered, is now a thing that's here.
I could have done so many things, so differently. Yet I didn't.
Time isn't up,
and I am making my way now,
It just hurt, and hurts so much more than it should...

Okay brother..
We'll talk soon.
Love you man.