The Depth of a Soul..

  Remember when I sang this song to you? Around a piano, you and me, when you said you loved me? I looked at you, smiled and said... I knew better then, as I know better now. I'm not good for you. You're too whole, Too you...  I will only hurt you, Only damage the whole.. I can't love again. The pain is too real, I'm too far gone.. "A breath away, blinks away, you have what's left of me. I don't think it's enough, but I can try..." Why do I feel it's better to let go? To let me be, Too let it be.. Things are better when I'm alone, easier.. It's safer this way, safer away, It's quiet here. Don't you know enough? Know enough.. I'll only hurt you, if you let me. With a smile you didn't let it go, Let me go. You said "It's too late for that now, I'm yours and you're mine.. That life is too short to let go what we have, What we can be. I won't give up on you, as you never gave up on me." I can't ...

Close your eyes and feel. Feel the breeze, Feel the energy all around. Know that you are still alive, Still can breathe.  Under the stars from up above,  The lights so dim, yet so bright. The majesty of the world around, It's amazing how something so grand, can affect things so small. So close your eyes, and breathe. Remember the time, not so long ago when. When you couldn't quite feel, Couldn't quite move, Could barely breathe. Never again will you take for granted, Never forget, That you are still alive, and that no matter how many of life's challenges come your way, You can still breathe when so many others can't. Live when it came so close. Believe when you came so close to stopping.. So close your eyes and believe, Become a believer again. A believer that you deserve better things, a better life, a better world to live, a better place to thrive. That life is only limited to your perception, so become limitless, become more, and believe the most. Search your sou...

So I told you a lie the other night, It was one I understand why, yet not proud of it. I'll do anything to take my mind away from my heart, and my heart to distract from what it's feeling. Though nothing's been set or said, nor have any decisions been made, but I feel us fading away, and the ghost of us, of you, terrifies me for what I'd lose. Though the reason is greater than you or I, and I'm praying to him above, that this is only for a season, I'm struggling with the feelings.. Feeling like I have to pull back, that I have to protect myself, That emotionally I'm too vulnerable, Too aware, Too close, Just another minute please... Why is this so hard? I don't know what to do, Or how to be.. I said that I'm pulling back to protect myself, I'm feigning strength when I'm a mess, Pretending to be fine, fine on my own, fine being okay. I'm not...   Yet the thought of not having you, makes life seem a lot duller, Colors seems off, Tastes seem...

An open hand, in a time of need. I wont let you drown, even when you try. We have it in us to be great. The meaning of an epic journey, The heart of a thousand words, The heart of a grand symphony. No, I wont let you drown. It's been one hell of go huh? Pain, heartbreak, earthly ailments, loss with many of tears. Just know: You're not a lone here, You have people around you. And if you happen to be alone, There's people all over the world who's felt what you are now, that makes you a legion. I wont sit around an let you drown. Life is to short, Remember you last favorite memory, Imagine it, relieve it. Now picture this: Something 1000x's the joy, a million times happiness.  That is what you have yet to experience. When you feel like you're drowning, Take a walk. Run for no reason, stop and catch your breath. Find your happy place, a place no one can infiltrate. Find it, hold it bask in it's peace. No, I wont let you drown, I wont let you keep yourself down. ...

A walk in the cold, The walk to your door. A dream, a moment. A cold winters day, The leaves are gone, The grass, already hibernating till next year. The day is cloudy and cold, wet and dreary. Why are we alone? Why are you alone? It's been a hard year, a time where being alone hurts when it rarely did. Walking outside, there's a bitter wind. People walk on by, heads down, mask on. God forbid you say hello.. Someday, Somewhere.. Nobody else see's, the silent pain, your silent pain. Why am I still out here? Alone and cold, Broken, yet mended? The day's turn into weeks, The first snow's hit. Why am I still here? Cold and alone? Hey baby, where were you back there? You said this was meant to be. You said you've found your new home. Why are you alone? Why are we alone? Walking alone, one never knows what is passed the surface, First glances don't always answer the answers, or question the questions.. Wait.. Most of the time I'm just naked and afraid inside, ...

I stop. I see. The pain all around, The pain in the air. So many reasons to, So many ways to, give up. People hurt, with hope lost. The type of hurt few people understand. The world we live in, The life forced on us, suffocation, barely living, barely breathing. Destruction all around us, People are hungry, people are dying. The lack of control, Finding anyway to express themselves, searching, yearning, for equality, in essence... love. It's hard for me to, see this, and have zero control of, any of it. A cry of help, Please, give one. Life is worth living, Please, stop and see it. We are by products of, Society, those we grew up with, our parents, the community around us.. Right now, Today is, One of the worst on record, for so many people, in many ways. It's not lost upon us, please, reach out, let someone help. Be the weed growing between the cracks in concrete. Beautiful. Because it's not supposed to be there. The...

Striped. Head to toe, Face to mirror, Mirror to face. Vulnerable. The mind, my mind trembles. Can it be? Can I be? Buried. Head to toe, Mind to heart... All I want, What do I want? Love? What does that even mean? So I close my eyes and dream. My mind opens up, TO memories passed, Fleeting thoughts found. All I want. All I want, That hope to have. To feel that again, That buzz, That high, That hope. Some day. All I want. That sincerity, That freshness, The smile, That smile, . The look, That look. The one that says it all, The very meaning, hidden, yet not hidden. I haven't thought it, Or believed it. Could it be? Could it happen? Someday. In the heart of hearts. I envision, the day, that day. When I wake, turn my head, and just smile. It was real, It is   real. You were there all along, buried into my soul, Into my heart. All I want. Is to feel whole again, that way. Without any doubts, without any shame, judgmen...