Fleeting light

 

A shot in the arm

A shot through the heart.

High voltage,

An ending.

To the feeling that I lost today,

To an ending,

An ending that was, 

An ending that didn’t have to be.

Opened doors leads to closed,

Yet somehow, we never talk about the act of the door swinging.

Fast and deliberate,

Slowly yet deliberate,

Or a slight, slip of the hand. 

Was it deliberate bc you let it slip?

It didn’t have to be this way,

Didn’t have too,

Yet, here we are.

You are somewhere,

On the path of your choosing,

To the attention that you seek,

and the arms you aim to be held in,

Anyone’s, as that’s what you need in the moment. 

The reality that you’re willing to let slip,

Something so rare, so beautiful,

Just shows that there’s nothing else left to do.

(It’s never been masked what you are to me.)

But to let go.

Finally.

Man it’s been so long since the start of this,

Something I never thought I’d have to do,

Yet I need to,

Let go.. 

Here it is.

After all this time..

Taken me a while to accept,

But I finally have.

You were worth the journey,

Worth the walks in the rain,

And the times, basking in paradise.

“Sunrise” will forever remind me of you now,

Somehow Yellowstone on the mind..

I can’t watch it now,

I won’t.

Maybe someday.

The story of my life. Ha

I’ve done the part,

Played the game,

I’m not even bothered,

Or angry in the slightest.

Disconnecting from your best friend is hard,

The inevitable distancing- to the playing of second fiddle,

This is ultimately the “why” it’s come to this for me.

I’m not worried about the future,

Not worried about the sadness,

Just my sanity as I know you’ll be with others.

I’ve cried enough tears in the past on your behalf.

Now my heart and mind can finally accept, what has been happening for a while now.

We’ve hit an impasse, as you’ve refused to accept me. 

All of me, for me.

For pastures that are always greener.

This will be the last thing I write about you.

Not that you’re not there to be written about,

Just that I’m moving on now.

At the least, allowing myself to do so. 

My heart is full of love for you.

On so many levels,

But it’s time to fully give myself a chance to find,

What you’ve been unwilling to let happen.

For your mind has held onto, too much control and not enough allowing, acceptance.

It’s okay- just promise me you’ll fly,

And not settle.

That you’ll not overlook red flags, 

and see them for what they are.

Not pretend that they're not there..

Realize that ultimately you’ll want what we have,

Just put yourself in a place where you can. 

I’ll look forward to see updates on your life.

But at this point, that’s all I can say to the future when it comes to you.

Goodbye for now, or forever.

Thank you for inadvertently teaching me how to love again. 

All of this, was worth that, alone.