The Depth of a Soul..

It's been a while my friend, The fullness of you with me, The companionship, and the feeling. It had been a while, since I unlocked the box I held you in. It felt so good, wearing you on my sleeve, vulnerable, yet confident. I'm glad I saw you, if just for a brief period of time. I won't forget, how alive I felt, the breathlessness, the comfort and fullness. I'm glad I gave you away, if but for a short time. But I think it's time, to put you back in the box, build up the walls, and let you hide. Sometimes feeling, is not always a good thing. I'll keep the keep on a chain around my neck, ready for that time again. But right now I need to forget for a little bit. I need to fully move on, and let myself fully heal. I thought I had the answers, but it proved wrong. Time isn't ready. Next time, I hope it will be the time. I'm glad I gave you away, if but for a short time. My Old Heart, my best friend. I'm glad I ...

It came out of no where. Hit like a Mack-truck. Life was shattered, who ever expects divorce out of nowhere? I sure as heck didn't.  But hey, though it hurt, though I didn't deserve it. I go to sleep with a smile on mouth.  My heart is finally at peace.  I went through my share of tears.  From denial,  to anger,  from pain,  to null.  Oh I went through it all.  Boy I'm glad I did.  Now I can say,  It doesn't hurt like it did,  nor will it ever again.  But I'm happy to say, I rarely think about you. You left a mess when you left. But out of the mess,  came clarity and a new life.  You were once the priority. My best friend, and lover. Now you're a passing thought. It was sad when you left, When you chose selfishness and greed, Override our life, our relationship, the trust I had in you. You bulldozed it all, with one fell sweep. Consequences will...

So I don't get it. Were you not there? Did you not see it? I know you did at one point. What am I missing? I know I didn't make it up. Fireworks happened. butterflies. Excitement. Lack for words. A breath of fresh air. We soared. Potential was an under statement. I was speechless. I had to talk to myself, just to prove to myself that it happened, That it wasn't a dream, Or something I made up. When I met you, I went into it, wary, and not sure. But that went out the window quickly, I was speechless.. I saw it in your eyes, but most especially with the way you kissed me. But wait... You even felt comfortable around me. You even told me. Oh it was real, we were. You let some of your walls down. we enjoyed the moment. We talked, you talked, we adventured. I was speechless.. If you wanted to start over, Have a do over, I'd do it. You said you weren't going to disappear... I want to know what happened? I'm speechless......

Reply Not a fan of this word. Reply typically is in response to a message you've sent, Awaiting a reply, Need a reply, Has there been a reply yet? I don't like waiting on other people. Sometimes,  That "reply" never comes, And so you're left with a little void, That a response would have filled. But not this time. Regardless of how much you wanted a reply, It's not on your time. Sometimes you don't want someone to think, That you're waiting for a reply, Because then they have the power. Yet you know, Secretly, deep down inside, You really would Have liked that reply. So I'm to the point of just not expecting one, From anyone, And writing it off as such. No "reply?" Well that's their loss, Suckers. Even though you thought I was never merited a reply, I'm better than caring. Though I did care.. Well a little, Maybe a lot... Grrrrrrrr Haha the conflict.. So...

Okay genius, Clearly it wasn't just about you. Something must have changed. Something sparked a change, Or "the" change. So times I wish I could press delete on things I've said, Text sent, messages left...  Then start over. lol I mean if you don't see any plausible reason, Then clearly it's about her. Things just don't turn off,  There is a reason. You may never know that reason, Just don't be selfish. Soooo what done is done. Just be better next time, And don't be so narrowed sighted.  Life is so great right now, Nothing will hold you back. The world is laid before, And you will take it, And make of it want you want. So be better, And do better. A happy ending, Is a happy ending, Only because God and yourself made it that way. So keep at the path and stay focused, And resolved.  Happiness is always there, Just stay a while, And feel it. 

Ive found the median. Life is poised to to go in any number of directions. And I'm preparared for them. It's taken me a while to fully be at peace, But I've found it. And I've found strength in it. Strength in the assurance, That Ive found myself, And more than ever I'm sure.. For... I've caught a glimpse of what I truly want, And exactly who've I've seen.. It was there, not to long so long ago. And I won't settle for less. Now it's a game of probability, I don't have any idea of where it's at now, But I'm at 50/50, And honestly I'm more scared if it works out... Well, I'll continue to find strength in peace, With serenity as a beacon. I'm no longer conflicted with where I've been, And I've worked through the most of it. It feels amazing. So here I am, Approaching a venture - The paths aren't far from each other, One will just be so much better than the other, Well happier sooner...